Quick Note from Caleb 🚨

Hey everyone! First off, thank you SO MUCH to everyone who let me know the teaser link from my last update was broken. My head was deep in DCP (that’s a Digital Cinema Package—basically a fancy, encrypted G Drive file that theaters use to screen your film) creation mode, and clearly, my link-sharing skills were compromised! 😅 Here's a fresh, fully functional link—no scavenger hunt required:

👉 Watch the teaser here: https://bit.ly/starwingz

And now, back to your regularly scheduled Star Wingz programming…

🌌 Episode IV: A DCP Misplaced

It was May the 4th — a day of lightsabers, Wookiee growls, and poorly aimed Stormtrooper cosplay. The energy at Regal LA Live was electric — a perfect setting for the screening of Golden Wings at the Beyond Hollywood International Film Festival.

I arrived with my DCP in hand. I handed it off to the manager. He passed it to the projectionist.

Boom. The lights dimmed.
Boom. The film played.
Boom. The credits rolled.

The screening was a dream — until it ended.

In the post-screening shuffle — “everyone out, next film’s starting!” — I forgot to retrieve my $120 hard drive. One moment I was floating on audience feedback, the next I was back in my car realizing I’d left behind the one piece of tech that held everything.

Festival director Chez emailed the theater. Nothing. I tweeted. Crickets. I DM’d the Regal social media team with the desperation of a stranded Jedi:

“Help me, Regal Social Media Team. You’re my only hope.”

🧙🏼‍♂️ Wisdom from the Jedi Council

The Q&A after the film was one of those beautiful surprises that no director can plan for.

First question from the audience:

“Now that Bette Nash has passed, who is the most senior flight attendant at American Airlines?”

I paused, then grinned.

“You know who that’s a perfect question for? My mom. Robyn, would you mind?”

She stood—composed, proud, and more than ready. Like General Leia with a flight pin.

The audience loved her. People came up afterward to tell me how much the film moved them. One man asked for a photo with her. Another told me, “I called my mom right after watching.”

That, to me, was the real prize.

Thats not how you hold a light saber, Mom…

📊 The Awards Ceremony: The Snub Strikes Back

Golden Wings was nominated for Best Short Doc, but we didn’t take home the trophy. And yeah—I felt the sting.

But the audience’s reaction? The personal stories people shared with me? The moments when they connected with my family’s story—those were the wins that really mattered.

You don’t need a statue to know your film landed

schlurp-B will be voiced by a digitally ressurected ai version of Gilbert Gottfried

🛋 A Glitch in the Cargo Hold

Now here’s where the story leaves Earth’s atmosphere and swerves into deep space.

On the ride home, something thumped against my windshield. It was small. Green. Alive. And very, very clingy.

At first, I thought it was a toy or some weird festival promo leftover. But it blinked. Then it burped. Then it refused to let go.

I later found out he was called Shlurp-B—a failed byproduct of a secret Empire-aligned bioengineering project known as Shlurp-A. All the good stuff went into Shlurp-A. Shlurp-B? He was the leftovers. The experiment they jettisoned with the trash.

And yet, here he was. Clinging to my ship. Imprinting on me. Refusing to die in the vacuum of space.

He hums during hyperspace. He might be Force-sensitive. He might just be... mine.

I didn’t adopt him. He adopted me.

📖 Classified: STARPEDIA Entry [SHLURP-B]

Name: Shlurp-B
Origin: Empire BioLab Delta-19
Status: Experimental Clone Runoff
Species: Unknown (Sticky Neutral)

Abilities:

Survives in space
Bio-adhesive cling
Possibly psychic
Emits emotional static

Risk Level: High (may chew HDMI cables)

🎥 The Encounter: Storyboard Snapshot

Panel 1: Empire scientists arguing over leftover DNA goo…
Panel 2: A pod labeled “SLURP-B” is jettisoned into space.
Panel 3: It bonks my windshield. I stare. It stares back.
Panel 4: Shlurp-B grins. I sigh. A legacy begins.

🎯 Merch of the Future

✔️ Trading cards? Oh yeah.
✔️ Storyboard? Fully illustrated.
✔️ Funko Pop concept? Photorealistic and terrifyingly cute.

Shlurp-B isn’t an afterthought. He’s my franchise soft launch.

You came for Golden Wings…
You stayed for the goblin.

May the legacy be with you.Always. (((three snaps)))

— Caleb StewartFilmmaker | Star Wingz Founder | Emotional Host to a Sticky Goblin

✨ Star Wingz: A New Hope (for My Hard Drive)